A charmless, judgmental, hand-wringing harridan

Guardian Unlimited | Arts features | A charmless, judgmental, hand-wringing harridan: "You Are What You Eat (Tue, 8.30pm, C4), a new 'dietary makeover' show in which a nutrition expert rifles through the shopping basket of a self-confessed blobbo, then tuts and frowns and whines in their face for half an hour. This week's victim is Michelle, a bloated office-bound manatee who spends most evenings shovelling cake into her face in a desperate bid to make life fun again. Her constant diet of crisps, biscuits and microwaveable hermit slop has turned her into a flatulent human waterbed, but fortunately healthy-eating guru Dr Gillian McKeith is on hand to help her mend her ways with a crash diet of organic brown rice, lentils, steamed carrots, tofu, twigs, bracken, soil, and mulch."

I just watched this. It really was scary what the woman was eating. Her weekly diet review had no vegetable or fruit, just microwave meals, fizzy pop, crisps and cake. And, gosh, she was fat. What a shocker! How stupid are some people? "I eat shite, sit on my lardy arse all day and I'm fat! I need a 'celebrity' nutritionist to tell me what I should be eating."